out of all the things i could be worried about i dont think i should be worried about a grown mans feelings. i have my son and myself to worry about. i basically told my ex boyfriend/friend that i cant see him anymore because i have a man now and i dont want to make excuses when i see my ex. im trying to make my life as normal as possible being that i may lose my son to cancer. it just hurts to think that my ex now whats to make the effort to spend time with tj and me, but when we were together he made none until the last couple of months we were together. my son has been in the hospital before and my ex never asked to come see him but he did ask to meet me at a hotel. his thing was how i hated being home and at the hospital and needed a break. and i never did speak my mind then about meeting him at a hotel. even now i never spoke my mind about him coming to see my son in the hospital but he is making the effort now. now that we are not together. i have no clue why that is? im pretty sure if you read his blog he wont put that he never made the effort until AFTER we broke up. he puts all the stuff about him missing me but when we were together we rarely went on dates or out for that matter until it was getting close to us breaking up. im sure he wont write that though.

yamil did show up on time that day. we had a talk about the way he acts with the games. he gave away his Xbox because he thought that would be the right thing to do. hes actually stayed twice here at the hosital with tj. he said he was nervous that tj would cry for me but he didnt.

tj gets to go on his shopping spree soon. the Make a Wish Foundation gave him $1000 to go shopping at toys r us. so we are going to have a ball.

anyway ill keep you posted.