"You're so strong." That's what i hear all the time. What people don't know is that I just want to give up. I really don't like my mother. She thinks she knows everything about everything. I just can't stand to talk to her about anything. She makes it seem like the choice is mine but she always makes it a point to tell me what to do in a discrete way. Most of the time I aprechiate what she does for TJ, but at the same time it's like if I had a choice and wasn't so scared of anyone else watching tj I would let someone else watch him. Lately I've been mean but I just want to be left ALONE!!! I just can't get a chance to myself. I just want to be ALONE to my thoughts where no one calls me or texts me. ALONE DAMNIT!!!

My ex keeps texting me. I just wish he would get the hint already. He is causing me stress that I don't need. He wants to be my friend...I understand that but I can't deal with him right now. Everytime we have the talk he ends up being more annoying than a friend. I tell people to leave me alone and they keep talking. Then when I say "Shut the F*CK UP!!!" Then I'm the bad one. I'm going to get a text saying "I just want to be your friend if I dont hear from you then I won't text you." Then I get at peace with everything cause I don't have to read these text messages every 10 minutes. And guess what he texts me. What the hell happened to "If I don't hear from you I won't text you." That is the most annoying thing a "friend" can do especially going through this with my son. I don't know what to do. I want to change my number so f*ckin bad but now that tj is sick I don't have the time to call all these family and friends to tell them my new number. So what do I do? I didn't the right thing by saying I'm moving on with my life and this isn't the right time basically for us to be friends.

What the hell do I do???

I'll keep you posted.