how can i give thanks? this whole week has been crappy. first i lose my son, then out of nowhere the lcd tv blows then our stove breaks. i know i can get a new tv and a new stove, but i cant get tj back. we went for the viewing of tj yesterday. he just looked like he was sleeping. like he was going to wake up and ask me for cereal or scooby snacks (gummy candy) like he did every morning. the swelling was no longer there. he looks so peacful. im pretty sure he is. i didnt want to leave him there. i wanted to pick him up and run outta there.

my dad is coming up from Ga with my step mom and step sister. and my play sister shanice is coming from boston. i feel bad cause i dont have extra towels...lol dang im ghetto i have to tell them to bring there own towels. but whatever. to be honest i dont want anyone here. i just want to be left ALONE. i want to have it quiet. i feel like screaming and punching.

i should be sleeping and resting but lately ive been waking up early as heck. the funeral is tomorrow. my cousin asked if i was going to have something after the funeral...no cause i want to be left alone...FUCKIN ALONE DAMNIT!!! why dont people understand that???

ill keep you posted.