hello all. how have you guys been? im hangin in there. being engaged isnt what its cracked up to be. i still feel like a girlfriend. if that makes any sense. im happy that im finally engaged. i hate the fact that tj isnt here. i miss him so much i feel like just laying in a room in the dark and just cry. my boss this morning told me that they had a thing on the news about neuroblastoma. this little boy named toby has it and they put him on a special treatment called 3F8. i dont know if its the same chemo my son was on, but in the mothers blog (another site) she said he was on the treatment 1 week on 2 weeks off. that was how tjs treatment was...it didnt work for him. i posted a reply to tobys mothers blog telling her my experience with NEuroblastoma. i did tell her that i didnt want to discourage her in anyway because i read her blog and she knows that relaps neuroblastoma is not good.

me and yamil put our christmas tree up we took a picture of tj when he was about 1 yr old with angel wings and we put that picture at the top of the tree. its beautiful. God i miss him so much i dont know what to do. before i used to love to cook for yamil and tj. now i dont care. i come home from work and eat and lay on the couch then i go to sleep. thats what its been like since tj passed.

i did get to hang out with hector. we went looking around the game store then we sat and talked for a bit then we went to this place called East LA to eat. it was good to laugh.

well ill keep yall posted.