The last two days have been horrible. Yeah Hector found my blog. So Yeah you guessed it. He knows everything. I feel so stupid. I feel really bad. Everyone here knows how I feel about Hector. I love him but I made some bad mistakes. I was shocked that he read the blog. He sent me a email with one of my blogs in it. When I read it my mouth hit the floor. What could I have done to try and cover that up? Nothing!!! So I told him. Of course he has questions on why I did it and all that. I can't even give an answer.

He says he loves me and he is heartbroken. I know he is and I apologized to him so many times. I don't know what else to do or say? I'm still going to go and see him on Monday to do the lunch/dinner date. I don't think I'll be able to look him in the eye. I know it's going to be strange to be face to face. But I do want to work things out with Hector. I do want to be with him. He's my Googy Bear. I never really cried over a guy like I did last night. No guy has ever trying to win my heart over like Hector and I know I f*cked up. I'm just scared I don't know how to love. I've never been in a relationship where a guy showed me this much love. That is why I have such a problem with showing my love.

I'm really going to try and show the softer side of Shante'. That's what I think he deserves. I'll keep ya'll posted.