I didnt realise how many people were affected by the things that go on in my life. i know at times I seem confused about things, mostly men, but Im getting it together. Im at work now bored to death. I got this new book in the mail by Wendy Williams and Karen Hunter its called "Is the Bitch dead or what?". I wasnt going to read it because Wendy Williams is a mega bitch and I hate when she makes people feel like they are less than nothing. But i picked it up and read the first chapter and what can i say im hooked. My ex boyfriend Josh keeps calling me, but he calls me at like booty call hours and Im not trying to cater to that. Most people that I deal with I always mostly cater to their needs but the minute I speak up for myself or Im not in the mood its "oh you never do what I want" or "I always have to fight for you to do something". People never look at what I do and just accept it. But lets reverse the role and let me ask for something. I get a hole song dance and pop corn. My sister says I need a older man in my life that really really completes me. Hell sometimes I dont know what I want because I get tired and bored quick. I dont know? Its not like I can ask anyone what I should do because only I know the answer to that. Most of the time I want to be loved like no other and the next minute I just want to be left alone. What I realise is that i cant have it both ways. But when I try to tell Hector how I feel it justh comes out like hes being a pest and thats not the case. He says he loves me and I believe him. I just think we would be better of seeing other people because of the way I am and how I react to certain things. To stop all the confusion I just want to be by myself. But anyway Ill keep yall posted.