Well I haven't posted in awhile. I was sick with the stomach virus. I worked this past sunday and I ate half of a hamburger and the rest of the day I was sick throwing up. I felt sooo bad. Monday I couldn't even enjoy my food at Chili's (One of my favorite resturants). I did enjoy my time with Hector. Then on Tuesday I went to the Bronx to spend some time with him. His ferret stole my socks. She is too cute.

Well I'm getting better at my job. The last couple of days I haven't been short. I've been going extra slow with counting change and giving tickets. Fanta (My Boss) asked if I could work extra hours today but I don't have anyone to pick up my son from school. Being a single parent sucks balls. But oh well what can I do?!?

Me and Hector are a couple. Yes Finally BOYFRINED AND GGIRLFRIEND!!! So no more questions asked about it. So I'm happy about that. I'm glad everything worked out.

Well let me lay down cause this is the only day where I get to relax by myself. I'll keep ya'll posted.

The last two days have been horrible. Yeah Hector found my blog. So Yeah you guessed it. He knows everything. I feel so stupid. I feel really bad. Everyone here knows how I feel about Hector. I love him but I made some bad mistakes. I was shocked that he read the blog. He sent me a email with one of my blogs in it. When I read it my mouth hit the floor. What could I have done to try and cover that up? Nothing!!! So I told him. Of course he has questions on why I did it and all that. I can't even give an answer.

He says he loves me and he is heartbroken. I know he is and I apologized to him so many times. I don't know what else to do or say? I'm still going to go and see him on Monday to do the lunch/dinner date. I don't think I'll be able to look him in the eye. I know it's going to be strange to be face to face. But I do want to work things out with Hector. I do want to be with him. He's my Googy Bear. I never really cried over a guy like I did last night. No guy has ever trying to win my heart over like Hector and I know I f*cked up. I'm just scared I don't know how to love. I've never been in a relationship where a guy showed me this much love. That is why I have such a problem with showing my love.

I'm really going to try and show the softer side of Shante'. That's what I think he deserves. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Today I woke up and felt tired. I got to work and got the bubblies (diarrhea). So I spent like 10 minutes in the bathroom. LOL Good thing there are mostly guys that work there because if someone would have went after me they would have passed out. But the rest of the day was good. Except the end of the day. This dumb a$$ guy was rushing and said I only have him one ticket when I gave him too. So guess what??? I was short $4.50, but I explained to her what happened. Then I pulled her to the side and asked her if I was doing a good job. Because I feel like I was doing something wrong. And Fanta said that I was doing great and she was talking to the big boss about me and that I was good with the customers. Hee Hee So I'm happy that they think I'm doing good.

After work I went to Curves to join their gym. Man am I fat!!! She set a goal for me to lose 60 pounds. So I'm going to see her again on Friday. My sons school has a lil play so I'll go to that and then go see her. The 30 minute workout is just like the commercial. It's a big circle with machines and music is playing and you work out on one for like a min then switch to another machine. So 30 minutes straight with that and change my diet. I'm going to look good. Hector says I'm sexy already but I'm going to get extra sexy and leave him. I'm not going anywhere. He knows that.

I haven't spoken to Keon and I think I'm just going to keep it on a friend level. Nothing sexual. Just someone to talk to. I'll still help him out with a job, but his record is just dirty. I can't really help him that much. But I'll do my best to help him. I can't really do a resume for him because he didn't finish High school. He really didn't have a long term job to speak of. Just hustling. So any suggestions???

I'm home now. I'm tired and hot. I'm going to sleep good tonight. I tried some of the machines at the gym and they are a workout....I guess that's the whole point...But I'll keep ya'll posted.

Well guys I knew this day would come. I think I'm going to leave Keon alone for awhile. He's starting to get annoying. Man I'm mean. I'll just tell him that we need a break. Plus he has nothing to offer me. I don't know what to do? I mean like how to handle him.

OMG yesterday was sooooo boring. I maybe had 10 customers all day. I have to get movies for my PSP just incase I have to do this again. But that was the easiest money I've made in awhile. I had my sidekick so it wasn't that boring. There were no cute ferry drivers yesterday, but they were all here today. Man EYE CANDY!!!

I made a mistake at work yesterday. There is this guy name Albert that works there he is a deck hand. And the big bosses were at the job yesterday. There is this store next door to the ticket booth. So the boss came and asked me for the extra key to the shop. Now these are the bosses. Am I supposed to say no you can't have the key. So what happened was. The next day I come in and the girl from next door says she is missing $150 from the register. Now Albert said that he saw them eatting cake and stuff from the store next to ours. I told Fanta (Supervisor) that I gave the guy the key cause Albert said they were the big bosses. So I asked her what should I do next time because I feel it's my fault. So she said just ask for their I.D. or call her. But on the bright side I wasn't short today LOL.

I'm just so tired. I don't want to lay down because I'll go to sleep. Then I won't be able to go to sleep tonight. Man when 8 pm hits I'm going the hell to sleep man. LOL Then back on the grind.

Oh yeah I emailed my ex boyfriend on Myspace and told him I was married to Hector. He's on my myspace page. Www.myspace.com/pinklotionplus. That's my boo boo with me on my myspace page. Me and Hector are on aim now talking about why he likes girls to wear the stripper heels. He says he just does. I have two pair that I wear when I see him. Hee Hee Naughty Naughty me. I'm still learning how to walk in them. I'll get it. I just need to lose some of this weight. I'm going to meet with a lady at Curves gym tomorrow. I was supposed to go yesterday but I was at work all day.

Well I'll tell you how it went. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Well I got a call from my boss Fanta asking me if I can work an iron on Monday (tomorrow). The ferries are running on Sunday schedule. So they only go uptown. I just hope it's not busy tomorrow. Then it won't be so bad. I'll just bring my ipod and my ipod speakers. So I can have something to listen to. I'm going to have my sidekick 3 to chat with my hubby Hector. Hee hee. Man I'm nervous cause that damn machine always gets jammed. I hope it doesn't tomorrow. I don't think many people are going to take the ferry tomorrow anyway. I hope not cause that's easy money for me. LOL

I wish my portable dvd player was working but my son broke it.  Just like he breaks everything else. I keep looking at him play my PSP just incase he does something to break it. I got it for free from Hector anyway. So no money loss.  Well let me go so I can lay down and get some rest. I wish I could post a entry from my sidekick, but it won't let me. But when I get home I'll keep ya'll posted.

Man last night I was so tired. I went to bed earlier than my son. When I woke up at 10 to 11 my son put himself to sleep. I went to use the bathroom and went right back to sleep. I'm going to do the same thing tonight. Getting up at 4 am Mon-Friday is taking it's toll on me.

So this morning I got up cleaned and took a shower and got ready to go to dinner with my mom, my step dad and my son. We went to Charlie Brown's in Montclair, NJ. The food sucked. I had meat loaf, broccoli and salad. The meat loaf tasted immitation. LOL I had better food at Chili's. I love Chili's. My son just ate salad and we gave him steak and meat loaf and now hes saying he's hungry. I told him he should have put something in his stomach. So I'm going to make him suffer tonight. I bet he will start eatting then. LOL

I spoke to Keon today. Of course he didn't call me yesterday. I did speak to Hector yesterday and he said he was going to call me back last night but he didn't. I just called him about an hour ago and he said he would call me back cause he is preparing food. But he was answering my text messages. Now it beats me that he can text me but he can't hold the phone to his ear while he is preparing food. I don't understand why men just can't be honest. If he was on the phone with someone he could have just said so. He said he would call me in 10 minutes. It's been an hour. So f*ck him, I'm going to play some PSP and go to sleep. But I'll probably end up waiting for Keon to call me back. He has a prepaid cell phone so I don't want to waste his minutes. So he said he would call me back when he gets to his sisters house. Speak of the devil. Hector is calling me now, but I've made my mind up. I'm not going to talk to him tonight.

Oh I have an appointment to join a Gym. Yes my fat ass is joining Curves for Women. So I'm going to see a lady at the gym on Monday. She is going to go over work out stuff and diet tips. I'm going to be looking good this summer. I want the guys on the block to sweat me. Hee hee Yeah they will be all over me. I'll have to beat them off with a stick. LOL

Good night!!! I'll keep ya'll posted.

Well I didn't write yesterday because I was really tired and I was hoping I was off today(Friday). But Thursday my boss said I had to come in. But lucky me I have a 3 day weekend...Maybe. Fanta (One of my bosses) said see you on Monday, but one of the other workers said don't come in on Monday because it's a holiday. Then when I was leaving Bee Bee (Another boss) said to not come in. So I don't know what the f*ck to do. LOL So I gave Bee Bee my number and told her to call me if anything. If I don't have to go in then I'm taking my Boo Boo Hector to lunch. I'm happy about that because the past year I've been jobless so now that I'm working I can do things for him now. Because he has been taking me out and all that loving stuff. But he hurt my feelings last night. He's been with me the past year and he said that I never do anything for him. Now he knows that I couldn't because I was jobless. So I pretty much hung up with him. I was too tired to cry.

Yesterday when I got home from work Keon was ringing my phone. He wanted to see me. So he came over and we watched music videos. I knew he came over for sex. that's a given. So we ended up having sex. He wanted to do it without a condom but I said no damn way. Is he crazy? Why do I have sex with him? I have to figure that out. He's still telling all his friends and family that I'm his girl.

I did ok at work today. I think someone at my job sets the machine up for me to get a ticket jam man!!! Because every morning I get a ticket jam and it gave me 11 tickets instead of 12. So at the end of my shift it made it look like I was short cause of the damn machine. So today I was short $3.75...It was really supposed to be $4.50, but a customer during the day left his change of $.75. If that makes sense...Yeah math is a B*tch. That's why most of my blogs talk about being over and short money.

There are some FINE A$$ PUERTO RICAN MEN at my job. Dang. They mostly drive the ferry's. One of them came to my window to ask for quarters and he had the nicest blue eyes. I was in shock. LOL But I'm going to be good to my boo Hector from now on. I'll try to promise that. But there is nothing wrong with a lil eye candy. Is there? Hell no there isn't. LOL But if one of them tries to talk to me...That's another story.

My play sister is having an abortion today. I know she is nervous as hell. I've never been in that kind of situation. My son was my first and only pregnancy. I don't know if I would go through with an abortion. I know right now I'm not in a good situation to have anymore kids. But anyway as usual I will keep ya'll posted.

Well I was on the register again. I did a good job with the tickets. Until the end of my shift when I had to do the paperwork. I got to the end of my paperwork I was short again 22 bucks. So the manager said she would watch me tomorrow. But then when she went over my paperwork I wasn't short I counted the checks wrong. So I was like I know I know how to count. So I did good my second day on the register.  I'm proud of myself. I hope she doesn't watch me tomorrow because I'll be even more nervous. But since I wasn't short I don't think she is going to watch me. We'll see.

Well Valentine's Day is gone. Keon called me to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. Of course he didn't come to see me. What a dork. LOL Hector said he got me something for Valentine's Day but he wants to see me when he gives it to me. I don't know why but he like to see me when he gives me gifts. He says he likes to see my smile when he hands me a gift. So I'll keep you posted on that.

Now every day Keon has been coming by but today he didn't. I don't know if it was because of the snow or cause he didn't get me anything for Valentine's Day. Now watch tomorrow he is going to call me and ask to come over. But tomorrow is my friday so when I get home I'm going to sleep. F*ck that!!! And he didn't even call me back. Well it couldn't have been the snow because I asked him was he home and he said no. Oh well!!!

Oh this stalker guy named Ronnie. He called me this evening and asked me if I worked today. So I told him yeah this morning and that I had to leave the house at 4:30am and this fool is like naw I'm going to meet you and walk you. Now I know he is worried about me and all but this guy is crazy and I bet ya'll money that when I walk up the street his ass is going to be there waiting. And I'm going to cuss his psycho ass right the hell out. I know he means well but man he's old enough to be my father. And I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Anyway sleep is catching up with me. I'm going to get going. Later.

Ok guys today was my first real day at the window. I thinik I did pretty good. I made a mistake and was short $22.00 but that was because I gave out too many tickets. That's what I get for rushing. So now I have this kind of down pat. I just need to stop rushing. But I'm cool and the time goes by soooo quick. I like it. I'm happy for now.

Hector is happy for me. I was joking saying that we need the money for the wedding. LOL (We aren't even engaged) LOL Funny Funny. Ohhhhh Keon thinks I'm his girl. Yeah I have to shut him down on that real quick. I guess maybe I should stop sleeping with him. Yeah I think that will work.

Well I'll keep ya'll posted.

Well tomorrow at the job I get to sell tickets. Now I'm used to the machines counting the change for me. I guess thats american's they are use to every thing being counted out for us. So now I have to count the change myself. It's always going to be either 25 or 50 cents change so that's not bad. Just have to go slow and take my time and count it. I hope no one yells at me. I'll cry lol. So I'll keep you posted.

I went to do laundry today. Man my feet hurt. I haven't stood on my feet like that in like a year. But at the job they have chairs there. I'm just too nervous to sit down cause I don't want to mess up. I wonder why people feel more comfortable standing when they are in a new situation? I forgot my cell phone today. I fell asleep last night text messaging Hector and I forgot to plug in my phone. I felt so naked without my cell phone. LOL It's not like I can use it at work anyway. But just knowing that it was home I just didn't feel right. I know that's happened to some of ya'll.

Anyway let me go over some of this basic math. LOL Man I'm slow when it comes to math. I'll keep you posted.

I don't know why men waste my time. There is this guy that I met on a phone website. He was cool at first then we just feel off cause I was talking to Hector and he didn't want to waste his time which is understandable. So we didn't talk for a long while. Then today he I M's me saying stuff like I left him for Hector (Cause he saw Hectors pic on my myspace page). I guess he was saying Hector was ugly. But whatever. Then I told him that he really didn't act like he was interested in me. When I would talk to him he would be busy making music beats.

So I tell him this today and he just totally blew me off. Like he didn't care about what I was saying. Now he I M'ed me. He could have just left me alone. Why do they insist on wasting my time. Like what the hell man??? I hate that sh*t.

I have to go to work tomorrow. Now I'm going to be selling the tickets soon. I'm mad nervous. I'm going to mess up. Wish me luck.

I'll keep ya'll posted.

Why is it when someone owes your money they tend to get upset when you ask  them about paying you back? Now this girl that I've known for about 3 years owes me almost $400. What happened was she wanted the sidekick 2 and to be nice I signed her on with my plan. I lost my job but I was still getting money from Unemployment. Then a couple of months later she got fired and I told her that I will hold down the bill for a couple of months til she got a job. Now she was going around buying ringtones and sh*t. So I told her to cut it out cause I'm stuck with the bill. So she stopped buying the ringtones. Then she was still jobless. So I said f*ck this we are getting your bill in your own name. So we did that and I told her the amount that she owed me and she said when she got a job she would pay me back. This was almost a year ago.

In November I went to Georgia to visit my father and I called her to tell her that I would like my money then so I can take it down south with me. You know, spending money. When Nov 11 came...I didn't hear from her. So I said ok. When I got back to New Jersey in December I called her and asked her about my money. Now tell me why she got upset that I asked about MY money. So she told me that she would pay me back at the end of December. So I said fine. Christmas money. End of December came. I didn't hear from her. So I texted her and asked her was she ever going to pay me my money. Can you believe she got an attitude and said that I wasn't trying to talk to her or anything. WHAT THE F*CK??? So I said you know what. It's a new year and I don't want to have people like you in my life. Keep the money. So once again she said she was going to pay me two months ago...Yet once again I still didn't hear from her. So I told her that if she see me walking down the street don't speak to me, walk on the other side of the street.

So now you can understand why I don't have many friends. They can't be trusted. I trust no one!!! Man I've been eatting like a cow all day. I'm full but I'm still hungry. Does that mean I have a void I need to fill??? I haven't spoken to Keon all day. He said he was going to come over but he didn't call and I wasn't going to call him. I didn't really want to talk to Hector today either. He's getting on my nerves too. But oh well I'll be alright I'm a little sleepy. I'm about to take some Nyquil and call it a night. My son is playing Spongebob on the Playstation 2 and I'm about to play Untold Legend on my PSP then I'll call it a night. That game is long as hell man. Dang!!!

Anyway ya'll know the routine. I'll keep you posted. Later!!!

Yes I love that show and on Valentines day go figure they are going to show a marathon. That is too funny. If that doesn't make lovers want to break up I don't know what is?!? I like watching this show with men to see how they react. Some men say they would hire someone then kick the girl to the curb. Some men say they wouldn't hire anyone to follow me around. I don't think I would hire someone to follow my man around. I'll do that sh*t myself. LOL Then act a fool when I confront them. LOL

Well today was my second day at work and it was cool. I basically just sat back and watched again. I learned how to use the ticket machine. I think I will do well once I get the hang of it. But Fanta (Boss) is putting me to the test on monday for a hot minute. I hope I don't mess up with money cause I have to do the math myself and that's not my best subject. But we'll see how I do.

I think I'm getting tired of Keon. He's kind of dead weight. He's good in bed but he has nothing going for himself. I'll try to help him as much as I can cause I do have feelings for him and I don't want to turn my back on him right now. That would be wrong. Anyway we'll see.

But as always I'll keep you posted. OH yeah my mom and step dad are taking me and my son to dinner on sunday for Valentines day. We are going to Charlie Brown's Steakhouse in Montclair, NJ. I'm gonna get my grub on for real. hee hee hee.

Well, today I was up at 5:20 am this morning. I had to be in Hoboken at 7am. Yes for thoes of us who don't drive we have to be up at like the crack of dawn to get to a place that normally takes a driver 10 or 15 minutes.  And NO I CAN'T AFFORD A CAR!!! LOL

Well I got to Hoboken and it was just insane. People throwing money and I'm just scared that Im going to screw up really bad. But thats how you learn. But I'll keep you posted. I have to go back tomorrow. I just sat back and watched today how everything was done. It's only a part time job, but I'm going to work extra hours to get my money up again.

Keon came over yesterday. Man he's now telling his friends that I'm his girl. Now I don't know if I should take that as a complement or worry that he really thinks that we are together. Now I told him from the beginning that we were going to take things slow and that I'm with Hector. Now I know thoes of you who have read my blog from day one think I'm crazy. I'm cheating on Hector with  Keon. But to be honest with you I'm not with Hector either. He and I talked about being together but we fight over the stupidest things sometimes and I think Hector and I work better as friends...That really care about each other. Yeah I know I'm kinda showing how much I care about him by sleeping around on him. Ummmm wow writing this I'm thinking about how I feel for Hector. Wow I'll get back to ya'll on that.

Valentines day is in a couple of days today is Hectors birthday. I'm supposed to be taking him out to dinner on Monday. We'll see. If I have some money. I think I will though. I want to do something for him.

Anyway let me get going....Keon's coming lol hahahahahahha

Peace!!!

Well I finally found a website where I can theme my sidekick 3. There are some with music everytime you open and close the screen. I first saw one like that when I went over  Hectors house cause he had one on his phone. I asked him where he got it and he acted like he didn't want to tell me. Like he was the only one who could have a theme on his sidekick. What a child man. Anyway. I got this Beyonce one, an Aaliyah one, and a Cassie one (She sings "Me & U") for thoes of you who don't know. LOL

I'm thinking about sending my sidekick 2 to my sister in Boston. I don't know if I should. She is using a regular phone and I want to send her pics but since she isn't using a sidekick they charge her extra. So I told her not to break my phone and when she gets a new one to send me my sidekick 2 back.

Well I have to go back to Weehawken, NJ for this finally Waterway interview. For the past two weeks they have been screwing me over sending me here and there and not calling me. I don't even know if I wan to work for them. Cause I know I'm going to be the first to say something if my check is f*cked up. Believe that!!! Anyway my cable is screwed up so I have to entertain myself with some music or something.

For some strange reason I'm thinking about Victor a whole lot. Read my past blogs to get caught up. Keep you posted.

Well I just spoke with my father just now. He was on yahoo video chat with me but his computer froze. So he just called me to tell me that he has a bad feeling that he won't see me or my son again. Because the doctors say his kidneys are failing. They are down to like 16%. So now that he is feeling this way I have to make a trip down there to see him again. Or let my son spend 2 or 3 weeks down there in Georgia while I work. That will give me a break too. So we'll see how that goes. But my dad is the cool one of the family so when he starts thinking like death then I know he is worried.

Hector still thinks I'm mad at him because I'm not talking to him. I just have to find a way to tell him that I'm just not feeling him anymore. I do care for him, but as time goes on I just have nothing to say to him. He knows that this NY Waterway job is only part time and that I have my son to provide for and he is always bringing up ways to throw in something for him. He says it doesn't matter but everytime I say that I have to save up money he always...always says "Oh so now you can do something for me." Now mind you I never ask him for anything. Even if I need it.

Valentines day is around the corner. Yuck! This guy that I never met wants to hang with me on Valentines day. He wan't to do the whole dinner movies thing. I don't know if I should go. I know Hector has to work and Keon is just going to want to sit in the house and screw...LOL Not that there is nothing wrong with that. But I want to do something. So I might take this guy up on his offer. I just hope sex doesn't come up with him...Which I know it will. Dayum. LOL

Well let me get back to ordering ring tones for the month. I'll holla!

Well It's official. I'm bored with Hector. It's like when I talk to him there is nothing there. I feel like I don't even want to be bothered with him anymore. How do you tell someone that you are not into them anymore without hurting them? I mean Hector would make a good boyfriend to someone who is into jokes and being a big kid, but that's just not me. I mean if I have a problem and I come to him to  talk it's like he doesn't even care about what I'm saying. When he calls I don't even want to talk. I don't even want to stay on the phone with him for long periods of time. I just don't know what to do?

I spoke to Keon the other day and he said that he is really feeling me. Now he openly admitted to having side B*tches. And I don't think he is going to get ride of them for me. This is why I can't see him seriously either. I think my thing is the sex. Hector brings out the "stripper shoes and the tie me up"  out of me. Keon is just a thug that I think is a sweetheart but...Man I wish I could let you guys be a fly on the wall.

I don't understand why I'm having such a problem with making a choice. SEX...that's why. They both give me  bomb a$$ sex. Hector doesn't go down on me but Keon will spend hours down there. Hector will call me a B*tch and slut and all that good stuff during sex. Keon won't say anything during sex. So I'm getting the best of both worlds when it comes to that. Hector has a good job but he doesn't take me out unless I ask him to or complain about it. Keon is a hustler a thug so his money is gone before he even sees it.

I just think I'll stay single and call it a day, but damn I'm almost 30 years old I don't have time for games anymore. Oh well I'll keep you guys posted.

Well, This is my first blog entry. I just want to start off with saying that I'm men crazy. I guess most women are. I have like some men that I need to figure out wether to keep them or get rid of them. First there is my hubby Hector. I met him on this website for Sidekick users. He's the one I know I can see myself with. Even if we do break up  like every other week. LOL That's my boo. Then there is Keon. Unlike Hector, Keon is a thug. Straight up street. I met him back in December at this fake job training thing we got caught up in.  He said when he saw me smile he just had to talk to me. Now then there is Victor. He's a cutie but he just has this macho attitude that just kills the moment.

Now I know this is going to make me seem like a hoe, but this past weekend I slept with all three guys. I met Victor saturday night and we went to his place, then I met up with Hector on Monday and then Keon came to my house Tuesday. Now I know you are thinking "This girl is a slut." But to be honest with you I think I'm addicted to sex. I don't think I can stay faithful to one guy. Hector knows I love him, Victor tried to play me out after we had sex, but he really didn't play me out because I was just using him for the sex, and Keon is just like, "Do you Ma, I ain't mad at you."

I'm just trying to figure out what the best possible way to go with this. I have a couple of other men that I can mention but these three are the ones you are going to hear the most about. I hope I didn't bore you too much with my rambling. The blogs with get interesting as I warm up to you guys.

 Shante'