Ok this is a vent post. Because I hate being a single mother. I have no real support. My mom  always says she is there for me, but whenever I ask for her help it's always an excuse not to help. So now I know I can't count on her. It all started this morning because everyone knows that I need the extra money to save up for my apt. Fanta (my boss) asked if I could work 1-9pm. The only thing is is that I didn't have anyone to pick up TJ from school. So I was going to ask the lady at the daycare if she can stay later until my mom comes to pick him up around 6 or 630. I never got in contact with the lady until I was on my way home (which was too late). Now two months ago my mom was saying "Yeah Hector (My step dad) can pick him up from school if you work late, we are here for you." Now the time has come and shes acting all stupid like she don't have my back. I think she wants me to live with her the rest of my life. WTF  Man! If this keeps up I don't have a choice but to move back down to Georgia with my dad. Where I know I can do my best to make a life for me and my son. Up here I have to base my schedule around my moms which leave nothing for me to work with. I go and tell jobs that I can't work this day and that day and they will fire me or not even give me the job. So what should I do?

So when I got home I told her all this and she just stayed quiet. Over the phone she had all this sh*t to say but when I was there she didn't say anything. So like I said I'm not asking her anymore when TJ is concerned. I know I'm thinking evil right now but people don't realise when they have the time with someone they take it for granted. When I leave Jersey or not even leave Jersey. When I get my own place and move into my own she is going to want to spend time with TJ. Why do people act like that??? I know this is like a venting, questions blog. LOL

I got a letter the other day from a friend in jail and he's not doing so good. He said that he sent two cops to the hospital. So he was put in a part of the prison where they send the prisoners that do bad sh*t. Oh well. That's for him and his family to work out. I can't do anything but write and hope that he is ok with the situation. He's in jail for murder...25 to life. There is no getting around that and now he sent two cops to the hospital. Oh he's rotting in jail. I know that sounds mean but that's the truth of the matter.

Well in the end. I still got to pick up extra hours. Tomorrow on my day off I work for like 3 and a half hours. From 1:30 to 5. So As always the last minute always works out for me after I stress for nothing. Maybe I should try not stressin. But I'll keep you posted.

Well my favorite people. I'm single. Well not really. Hector and I had a long talk last night. He keeps bringing up that he is thinking about breaking up with me and all this stuff. I kinda get tired of hearing that stuff. So I said make the break up happen if you're going to keep bringing it up. The talk we had last night brung me to tears. I cried hard. So we decided to be friends...For now. Until he gets the trust back in me. But we are still friends. We are not going to stop talking. He says he's heart is still with me and my heart is still with him. And he knows that. I do really love him and I want things to work between us so I'm giving him his space and time to get what he needs straight. I'm not looking or going to look for anyone else. I know who I want to start a family with. I mean for crying out loud I want a daughter with Hector. He knows that. I just hope he wants the same.

I'm kinda getting tired of NY Waterway already. LOL I've been there a month now and I still haven't gotten paid. I asked and they said friday (March 9th). So I'm not going to go postal yet. LOL This is a months worth of money. So I'm going to get the T-Mobile Dash. Me and Hector are going to get one. I think it's time or a change because everyone has a sidekick 3 and I need a grown and sexy phone. I think I'm going to like that phone. It takes better pictures and I can get Windows on it. So we will see. I'm going to keep the sidekick 3 though. I'll let ya'll know how I like it.

So I'm going to sit back and relax for the rest of the day until I go out and pick of Ta'Shaun (my baby). I think I'm constipated. Man what's the remedie for that? LOL I'm all messed up man. LOL I'll keep you posted.

Should I be mad at the fact that I was on the phone with Hector and he answered his cell phone and left me on hold to have a full convo with one of his friends? I didn't get upset that it was a female that he left me on hold for. I just hung up the phone and went to sleep. So I guess I answered my own question.

Anyway I went to get my hair done today. It feels soooo good to get it washed. Everyone was commenting me on my hair. I saw Keon when I was coming out of the hair dresser. He said I looked nice. And i started to walk off and he said he didn't want to hold me up. I said ok and kept walking. TJ (My son) was a good boy today. I'm proud of him not acting up today. The weather was nice and I can't wait for the summer. I like this fall, spring type of weather. I think I'm losing weight too. My pants were falling down. YAY and I haven't even started the gym yet. Maybe cause this past week I've been throwing up everything I put in my stomach. Yeah I think that's it! OH yeah and I'm addicted to saltines now. LOL

Anyway let me finish folding my laundry and I'll keep ya'll posted.

I got this letter in the mail from The Port Authority of NY & NJ. I'm scheduled to take a test on Monday March 19th. It's for a part time Toll Collector position. Now I'm making more money at the NY Waterway job...I think. I don't know if I should go and take the test or what. You know what they say just stick to what you have for now. Specially if it took a long time to get the thing you have now. I don't know. I'll see what happens. I'll call and reschedule if this job I have now doesn't give me anymore hours. I've been working at NY Waterway for almost a month now and still haven't gotten paid. Now should I turn on the ghetto and demand my money or be polite and asked them where my money is?

Me and Hector are doing fine. At least on my end. I'm really trying to be a good woman for him. I know I've had a checkered past in that department but I'm glad he's giving me another chance. We are talking about kids and family and weddings. I know I'm seriously talking about it. I know he talks about it with me, but when the day comes I'll be happy. I even got the engagement ring that I want.  Here it is Click view with Heart shaped diamond and that's my dream ring  http://www.bluenile.com/product_details.asp?oid=5107&page=1&col=2&row=5&pos=14&set_shape=HS I love this ring. He says that he will see if he's going to get me that. He wants to pick something for me. I wouldn't be mad at what he picks. As long as it's an engagement ring. LOL

I didn't hear from Keon, but I told him that it was nothing I can do for him. I don't want him to call me or talk to me anymore. It's ashame because he did nothing wrong. It was all me. To be honest he is a nice person but he has a lot of stuff to get straightened out in life then to come around me. So he took it ok... I guess.

I still haven't been to Curves yet. I'm going to go Monday. It's just that stomach virus took a lot out of me this past week. My sister just told me that she got suspended today for fighting some girl that was jealous of her friendship with another girl. Man B*tches. They suck. So now she's stuck home. I was going to do laundry today but the rain stopped me from doing that cause I have to walk to the laundry mat in the rain and that would be pointless. So I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow and then I'm going to do laundry and Sunday I'll get my nails done. I have to pay my cell phone bill and my house phone bill. I'm broke already. So this is why I need to get paid from this NY Waterway job.

I slept all day today and I'm still sleepy. WTF??? Well I'm going to play some PSP "Thrillville" Yeah my Hector got me that for Christmas. I was going to put what I'm getting him in here but I know him and his friends read this blog now. So I'll wait. I want to get it by the 11th cause we are going to do the hotel night. I like thoes nights. But I'll keep ya'll posted.