Why does everyone say "Your so strong."? I don't think I am. I guess on the outside because I don't really cry or show emotion or just not sad all the time. Or maybe because of what my son is going through? I dont think I'm strong at all. Seeing my only son sick is making me the weakest person alive right now. But I will make it no matter what happens with my son. I am prepared for anything. I have come to grips that I may lose my son. I am hopeful that I will not and he will overcome this. The doctors are really doing their best...after I cussed them out that is. LOL

Ok on another note. Yamil was supposed to wake up at 10am to get ready to come here. I guess he is still asleep because he didn't call me to tell me that he woke up on time. Oh well. I told him the other day that he takes being home for granted. The other day he was on the phone with me telling me how sleepy and tired he was but yet I heard him turning on the video game. I kinda blacked out on him I told him that he is f*ckin lucky to be home with peace and quite and getting rest, but yet he doesn't get rest he spends hours on video games and then goes to sleep late and wakes up late for work instead of going to be and getting rest. I told him look where the f*ck I am I'm in the hospital where I have not gotten a nights rest in TWO weeks. I always have a nurse in my face they always turn on the light when it's night time instead of doing the test they need to do in the afternoon when these kids in the hospital are awake. So I got even more mad because then he wanted to offer to spend the night. Had I wouldn't have blacked out on him it wouldn't have even crossed his mind to want to spend the night here at that hospital so I can get some rest so that I can continue to be "Strong" for tj. Cause at this point everyone is getting on my nerves. But I try to stay civil with most people.

But I will keep you posted.

 THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS READ MY BLOG. I WANT TO ALSO THANK YOU FOR PRAYING FOR MY SON AND MY FAMILY.

Well, it's been a long while. I've been soooo busy. Just taking care of my son and my household. Work is good.

For thoes of you who don't know. My son is back in the hospital. His cancer grew back stronger than before. They told me that there is no cure and that they were going to do things to make him comfortable and to give him more time. When I hear the news I couldn't believe it. I guess I still don't want to believe it. I just don't want to see him hurt anymore. My mom wants to get a second opinion, I told her yes but to be honest I trust in what the doctors here tell me and he is in pain and sick I don't want to drag him all over the place.

So that's where we stand as of now. He gets a Make A Wish. So he is going on a shopping spree. I would go to Disney World but I'm only part time and I don't get paid time off. So the shopping spree is good enough and he will have toys and games to keep him occupied when we are home because the doctors said that they are going to get him a hospice nurse while we are home to make it more easy for us when tj is home.

It hurts to say but for thoes of you who didn't catch on. The doctors basically said that I have to sit back and watch my son pass away if they can't do anything else to help him.

Ok But anyway I'm doing ok.

I'll keep you posted.