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9-22-1979
2007-09-23
Yeah yesterday was my birthday. i had fun. yamil cooked for me. his mom my mom and his grandmother and his cousin and my step dad and yamils friend came over. i had fun. now everyone thinks this is gonna be the party spot (my house). oh well.

im old yeah im the big 28.
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Finally
2007-09-10
i finally got to sleep on my memory foam mattress. i slept so good. i didnt even feel anyone move next to me. i wanted to call out of work so bad. im getting tired of this job already. i just want tj to come home and be better man!!! hes in good spirits and im trying to keep my spirits up as well. i spoke to the social worker again. and the shrink that im supposed to be seeing called me. i know...im not crazy but my mother is driving me up the wall with the way she is with all her negativity. so ill see him and hopfully ill feel better.

so tj started another round of chemo hopfully this thursday or friday he can come home. now watch they say he needs something like blood. instead of them giving it to him thursday they are gonna wait til friday or saturday. smh anything to make that extra buck from patients staying in the hospital.

i guess moving out is a good thing but i moved away from one parent and got stuck with another. yamils mother. i see why his brothers wife doesnt want her around. how the hell is he supposed to grow up when shes always around. then he complains that she treats him like a child. she called him yesterday and wanted to come by to get his laundry. wtf of well.

ill keep yall posted.
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still here
2007-09-08
well we are still at the hospital. i told the doctor if i would have known that we were just going to be sitting here with no IV's i wouldhave gone home and brung him back today for the chemo. smh dumb doctors. anyway they are going to start the chemo today and she said to cross my fingers to go home after chemo is done. i think tjs doctors remind me of the three stooges. dr bell is mo, dr barilari is larry and dr rifkin is mo (because she is the more smart and practical of the three). so im just going to hold my horses and wait. whats a couple more days. specially if it will help my sons health.

i went to the apt yesterday to see how it was. im so jealous because yamils mother is enjoying it more than me. i told him when me and tj come home she is not to come over all the time. he says he wants to not be treated like a child but he lets people do it. so when he comes to me crying with that i tell him i dont want to hear it. i tell him im not going to compete with his mother. but when he tells me he is going to do something for me and he calls me and says hes doing something for his mother...then i open my mouth. because if you are going to keep telling me one thing and keep doing something else then why even bother to say youre going to do something for me and you ALWAYS put your mother first no matter what it is.

anyway we had a whole discusion on that. because that is our apt not me yamil and yamils moms apt. so he said he was going to talk to her. i hope he can put his foot down.

well let me go and watch my son play som Hulk. keep yall posted.
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Waiting!!!
2007-09-06
i swear if things went my way for a week...i would be less stressed. yesterday the doctors did a test on tj at 9am it is the next day 2pm and we are still here at the hospital. tj isnt hooked up to any iv's and hes on no medication. we are just waiting. we can do this at home. i just dont get it? its like they are staling for something. i wish they would give me a direct answer if im STAYING or GOING. thats all i ask so i wont be so anxious to go home like they said yesterday.

its been a day and a half already wasted just sitting here. i just want to cuss someone out right now. but im about to cut this alarm band off his arm and walk out. anyone got bail money. lol

i guess ill keep yall posted.
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Finally, but sucks
2007-09-05
hello all. Im finally in my new apt, but cant enjoy it because i spend most of my time at the hospital with my son. i slept the first night there but had to sleep on the floor. i actually slept good. slept through the night which was a big change. so while ive been at the hospital with my son yamil has been straightening the house i cant wait to see it. we went to pc richards and got a 42 inch flat screen for 800 bucks. thank you labor day sale.

im on my way to the hospital now to go see my baby boy. they might let him go home today. i have to see what his bone test results are. so we'll see

yesterday i got into another fight with my mom because she was ringing my phone off the hook and i thought something was wrong she just told me that tj had the bone test today. now she knew that i was on my way to the hospital she could have waited. so i was already freaking out because shes calling me just for that. then she goes on and on about "if it was me i want a heads up". i got more upset because she thinks everyone is supposed to think like her. when i got to the hospital i was so shaken up i went to talk to the socia worker and she is going to set me up an appointment to see a shrink. i know the problem is my mother. when shes not around or i dont talk to her im so happy man. so thats the negativity in my life...her. so im cutting it out.

but ill keep yall posted.
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